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Or perhaps you’re right and your friend identifies as LGBTQIA (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning, intersex and intergender, and asexual and anonymous and ally). Perhaps he or she engages in a specific fetish that’s socially unacceptable, so keeps it very private for fear of being judged.

For example, perhaps your friend is silently sexual online, be it with porn or real people. As a clinician, I remain surprised by and respectful of the variety and ingenuity of sexual expressions people enjoy, which is why neither you nor I - or anyone - can or should ever make assumptions about people’s sexuality, preferences and behavior.